Yesterday was my first day back in the office since leaving for London … in other words, since dying my hair blue over three weeks ago! Everything went fine, in fact it was a quiet day; several of the folks on my team are on travel.
I realized shortly after arriving that the blue hair presents a conundrum in a way I had not quite anticipated. I started to realize this before even getting to work; yesterday was also the first day of school, and as I walked around on the school yard taking a couple of pictures, several parents commented on my hair.
But that’s at school, filled with moms and dads of my kids’ classmates, all of whom are caring and full of empathy and offers to help. A big company workplace is different. Yesterday I did not have many meetings so I did not venture far from my office, but even so, I bumped into a few people I barely know in the hallways who asked about my unusual hair. Conversations went something like this:
“Oh, I love the blue! It’s so different! What inspired you to dye your hair blue?”
“Thank you, I love it! Well, I’m having chemotherapy, and it’ll fall out soon, so I thought, what the hell!”
I thought about maybe being less blunt, but I figure that after my hair is gone, the same questions will arise, and it’ll be even more awkward. After all, my wig (which I don’t have yet – stay tuned for a future post) will really not look like my hair did pre-blue; and of course the lineup of hats and scarves I’ve accumulated will surely “give me away.”
If I truly felt self-conscious about this I would not have dyed my hair blue; I would not be in the process of obtaining a wig that looks quite different from my pre-cancer hair; and I would not be scouring Etsy for cool hats and scarves to funk it up a bit. But of course I am not at all self-conscious about such things, and in fact am trying to have fun with it. If Samantha can be Lil’ Kim, I can be Joy.